dc update #4, i think.

Im so upset I missed the moveon gallery event. I was on the volunteer list but was 30 min late getting there because of airport trouble (everything went wrong. apparently I look like a terrorist. and we waited an hour for the technician guy to duck-tape a broken overhead storage shut. Missed flights, stand-by. It wasn't fun.) I feel really bad because I said I would help out too. Im glad it was such a successful event though.

hey moby, i know just how you feel. i did some arithmatics the other day and worked out that i'm middle aged myself. i'm only just beginning to get used to the idea. before that i had myself quite completely convinced that i was still young somehow. then what happened was that i got attracted to someone who i'd thought was about 27 years old. (that's a decent age isn't it?) next i found out that he already has a girlfriend. not long after that we were sitting in a bar having a discussion and i suddenly noticed that he was looking very young. you know... like a REAL youngster. to top things off he started talking about wanting to be a part of a youth delegation that will be going somewhere later this year and so I asked him how old he is. "23" he said. gosh!! i worked out that makes me a whole 20 years older than him. wooo. never before had i felt such an embarrassed feeling about being 43. well admitedly I have only been 43 for 4 days to be precise. still, 43 is 20 years older than 23 and when i was 19 or twenty, he would have only just been getting born. do you ever get attracted to people that young? that's probably a stupid question. of course you do.

anyway, i hope you don't mind me saying, but i'm quite pleased to hear that you haven't been having very much sex just recently. i don't think i can explain exactly why i'm pleased.

but i wish you the best. may thousands of horsh shoes of luck rain upon you to bring you to or bring to you someone with whom you could (have plenty of hot love sex and) feel more happy and fulfilled than you may previously have imagined possible.

and i hope that the timing of it all is right on.

debauchery schmachery.
what a day to be living in America.
finally! thank you for all that you've done. xoxo, C

Moby,

You're right about Miss Olivia Wilde. I was lucky enough to do a portrait and video for her. Check it out!

http://sketchbook.dangermarc.com/olivia-wilde

i have some pix of u spinning
how do i post them ?

i have some pix of u spinning
how do i post them ?

Other than the frostbite and crowds, all you missed was the sound of the entire Mall chanting "na na na na... na na na na... hey hey hey... goodbye" as Bush was escorted onto the Capitol steps for the swearing in of Obama. It was the same chant the people of this city were screaming on the White House lawn on November 4 when everyone poured out of the bars and into the streets when Obama was announced the winner of the election.

I was sitting on the Capitol lawn as this was happening. We all wondered what the crowd might do. I think the Marine Corp Band just played a little louder to drown out the chanting from the Mall so Bush could still imagine he was popular...

Holly

Dear Moby – I wanted to address your blog regarding dc and coming home too early. Also, I have a bone to pick with you – and I apologize ahead of time, but this is going to be a little long.

First – I think we’ve all made blunders, the kind of which you describe. Leaving someplace too early is a good example of the blunders that we all make from time to time. As humiliating as it feels, believe me – no one else cares that you blundered but you. If you check it out with other people, I think you’ll find that they don’t see it as something to feel bad about, or even just take notice of. Anyone who thinks it means more than that is not your friend and does not deserve your concern for what they think of you. Welcome to the “same boat” that we’re all in. We’ll all move over and make room for you. Let go of any bad feelings about this and don’t kick yourself over it. As someone somewhere once said – don’t sweat the small stuff and EVERYTHING is small stuff.

Second – I don't think you're being older (not old) and bald is a problem date wise. Maybe you're just looking at the wrong type. I know I've turned down men who wanted me, that I didn't want, not just vice versa. What happens to you (the collective you) one day, you do to someone else the next. It's all relative.....or not.

Third - I’ve just witnessed history being made first hand. Obama has been sworn in. I cried like a baby from not being able to contain my emotional hope that he is ushering in a new era as well as heading up an administration that will help this country and the world recover from the mess that we’re in. I congratulate us all for electing him and hope that he proves my “we’ll see” attitude was unnecessary.

Finally - Maybe I’m being too sensitive because maybe this really isn’t the you I’ve grown to admire, but I’m going to go on a rampage just the same due to my being so sensitive to this issue (one-time only deal regarding rampaging - I promise). In reading your journal it seems to me that you have something against fat, or obese people. It certainly seems so by a couple of things that you’ve said in some of your entries. Also, from your last entry, it seems that you’re ga-ga over Olivia Wilde who has to be that thin in her profession, or she won’t get any work (sad though that is).

Ya know, I don’t know one single fat person (myself included) who has ever aspired to be fat. I’ve had many other aspirations, but not that.

There are many reasons for being overweight – I have to separate reasons from excuses. Reasons are why you became the way you are. Excuses are why you stay the way you are. The reason why I became overweight is because of (I think) my life-long emotional emptiness and never fulfilling my passion (or bliss, or destiny if you will). Due to a negative, un-nurturing upbringing, I became another addict in this society and food became my addiction of choice. Believe me, I tried twice to be addicted to bulimia instead, but I couldn’t tolerate the way it made my throat feel, so I resigned myself to having a different food disorder.

This country (it seems more than most) is a land full of addicts. Addiction is addiction. It doesn’t matter what you’re addicted to, the point is that you are an addict. The familiar addictions are drinking, smoking and drugs because they have gotten a lot of early attention. They are extremely debilitating and can affect people not even associated with the addict (meaning not just family or friends, but total strangers). However, there’s a list a mile long of other addictions. Some of which are: gambling, caffeine, work, shopping, hoarding, phone use, control, political power, exercise (yes, TOO much of a good thing isn’t good) and my favorite – FOOD, especially comfort food. I even believe that the reason that people say that child molesters cannot be cured is because they’re addicted to molesting and serial killers are addicted to killing – that’s why those groups of addicted people need to be put away. Their impact on others is major.

Well, why not just stop, or get help with your addiction you (the collective you) asks? I think it’s because addicts don’t really WANT to give up their addictions. Who wants to stop feeling good to be faced with whatever emotions made you feel that empty in the first place? I believe that’s why addicts have to wait until they reach rock bottom before they are forced to get help. Rock bottom for some addicts is jail time; others it’s when they literally lose everything and everyone; for us food addicts it’s usually a heart attack or stroke. However, all these rock-bottom places can also be too late to get help, because all addictions have the potential to kill you if they go too far.

If you still can’t understand why you just can’t give up an addiction that has hold of you, try picturing this hypothetical scenario. If your doctor told you (the specific you) that you had to give up music because if you continued to listen to it or make it, it would eventually kill you, would that threat to your life make you stop? Not that it literally would, but wouldn’t you feel like it would kill you to have to stop? With music all around you all the time, TV and movies having it all the time and advertising being so in-your-face with it, would you be able to not partake in music ever again, or make music once a year on a holiday and then voluntarily avoid it for the rest of the year? I think not. Would you bring an alcoholic (especially a recovering alcoholic) into a bar and tell him or her that they could have one drink, but then they would have to sit there and watch you and everyone else in the bar imbibe all night long since no one else was addicted and had no problem controlling how much they drank? That would be sadistic. It’s no wonder people are always falling off the wagon when they are trying to “recover” from their addiction whether it’s drinking, drugging, gambling, food disorders or whatever.

Yet, fat people are labeled lazy or stupid because they cannot give up eating, are constantly yo-yo dieting, or are unable to control their addiction altogether (we all know that we should only over indulge on a holiday). The only effect that I see on the general public regarding obese people is one of aesthetics.

You know something – it was, relatively speaking, easy for me to give up alcohol, smoking, caffeine and buying things, but food has been my nemesis. I only have that one addiction, or vice as some people call it.

Not only is it a constant reminder that you (the collective you of the overweight) are a less worthy human, but people don’t seem to think that it’s cruel to make mention of it anytime, anyplace, whether it’s a serious comment or a joke. People even make remarks right to your face, in front of a crowd of people. After all, their “just trying to help you”, aren’t they?

I try my damnedest not to judge people for their shortcomings and I certainly try not to insult them over how they look. I may tease them about things and sometimes I get into trouble over that because I hit on something that they are very sensitive to. Teasing as opposed to ridicule is when you make a mere observation about someone, but you really don’t believe whatever thing it is that you mention about them. You really only care about the person on the inside and what you’re really saying to them is – sure you have or are (fill in the blank), but I accept you anyway because it’s just a part of you. Good-natured kidding is different than out and out abuse, but even if you don’t cross the line (some people do in their kidding others), you never know how seriously someone might take offense if they are incredibly sensitive to an issue. Caring about them and accepting them as they are is small consolation to them if you manage to hit a nerve. That being said, if I do make a faux pas I can usually see it written on the face of the person and once I realize that I’ve “inserted foot into mouth” up to the knee, I try to rectify my error immediately.

Different people are sensitive to different things and you don’t always know what it is they’re sensitive to. Obviously if you (the collective you) are not sensitive to something, it becomes fodder for humor, but it’s difficult to be a comedian these days unless you’re one of those that insults everyone for everything. It’s also difficult for the rest of us to be perfect about what comes out of one’s mouth, or what old prejudices one has and needs to let go of. It is important though, to strive to overcome whatever superficial prejudices one has learned and grow into a more accepting human being.

Now – all this being said (my ranting, raving and scolding that is), I know that you are a much better person than that and I am sure that you meant no harm and only meant it as a simple joke. Even if you may have an actual aversion to the obese, I know that you can rise above any superficial ideals of what people should be. However, don’t forget that your many fans are not without feelings and that they’re not all svelte and gorgeous like Olivia.

I apologize for the carrying on, but I’ve had to deal with superficial behavior my whole life and not only weight. I used to be thin up until my early twenties. Before that, I had one good year of feeling pretty. Before that I had to live with people (mostly guys) making fun of me for having buck teeth. After begging my father for ten years to get me braces and never getting them because he couldn’t afford them, I got them myself with my first job. You would’ve thought that at that point the guys who made fun of me would’ve stopped and saw that I had potential, but no, they made fun of me because I was wearing braces. Ugly and buck tooth, was replaced by tinsel teeth, metal mouth and can opener, but OH did some of these same SOB’s ask me out on a date when I got my braces off. They were crawling out of the woodwork. At the time I didn’t use fowl language, so I politely said “no thank you” with a knowing smile. At this point, if ever I lose enough weight to warrant any attention from the majority of the male population, I would tell anyone of them (that I didn’t chose myself) exactly where to go. So, see, it’s a never-ending cycle of not being good enough for the superficial people on this planet. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. Just thought you should know. Dee

P.S. I forgive you. I have forgiven every guy (so far) who has made my life misery over this issue since Kindergarten, because forgiveness is not for them, but for me. If I didn’t forgive everyone, everything, it would be tearing my guts up inside while having absolutely no effect on them and I cannot do that to myself…and btw, I AM struggling to lose weight once again. Let’s just hope that this time it lasts because I’m overcoming my addiction and that it’s not just another yo-yo attempt.

Until I googled her, and even then I still didn't know, but IMDB says she's going to be in Tron 2.0, and here I didn't even know that there would be a Tron 2.0, so everytime I check out your blog, I learn a little something.

I just hope for your sake that your next entry is not "How To Watch The Inauguration from the DC Holding Cell Where They Put You If You Try To Bribe Security." And I hope that if that IS your next entry, that the people in the next cell are not having sex.

Briane Pagel
Thinking The Lions
http://www.thinkingthelions.com

You are the sexiest skin head that I have ever laid my eyes on, so what do you mean darling? I think that woman was so rude to ask you for your tour manager’s information. She is a grown up, why didn’t she go up to him and talk to him herself….Oh wei….Some people are ding dongs.

Speaking of Russel Crowe, I remember hearing him on a radio morning show one time when I lived in Aurora Colorado. The Morning Show DJ called Russel at his home to interview him and Russel got so peeved about being called at what was 3 in the morning Aussie time. He said the F word and many other words and told the Radio Talk Show that they would be hearing from his attorney if they ever bothered him again at such a ‘God forsaken hour’ (his words), giggles. So I bet if he were to read your journal about the maid he would totally be backing you up in your feelings my darling, giggles.

Giggles, your writing about the old overweight couple in the room next to you having sex, reminds me of the Sex and the City episode where Samantha has new neighbors that are exactly such and they have hot loud sex every night next to her room, it is so funny, if you haven’t seen it, you should, giggles.

Have a safe trip back home darling.

I Love You With All My Heart,

Your Rachelle
xxxx
oooo
@> -- > --

Rachelle LaDelle' Geisheker

"Be True to Love & Love Will Be True To You."

See my myspace page at: www.myspace.com/rachellelovesmoby